a long time ago, there was a really close friend of mine back in sophomore year of hs, who i refused to like back. He asked me “how can you just turn urself off like that? you tell yourself not to like me, and u dont?”
its easy, ive done it before many times and can do it through and through. if i dont allow myself to like you, i wont. all i need to do is tell myself not to, this time i let my guard down because i thot, oh this time it might be different, cuz YOURE different, more than any one i’ve met. so i ended up liking you. oops, i made a mistake. now i remember why i made this decision back in middle school.
prolly the most private thing i would ever post on my public blog. but here it is.